How Resistance Almost Destroyed Me

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“Resistance is the enemy within.”-The War of Art by Steven Pressfield

The creation of this blog was a part of my resistance and it almost destroyed me. Resistance is that thing inside of us that prevents us from doing our work. Resistance deceives us  and will often make us think it’s coming from outside of ourselves, but it’s not.

“Resistance is always lying and always full of shit.” -Steven Pressfield, The War of Art

In January of 2014 I was invited to create and write a solo show that would play at the New York Clown Theatre Festival in July of 2014. I had six months to get it all together. Plenty of time. At the time, I was in Tokyo, Japan working for Cirque Du Soleil. I had 2 shows per day and a hour and ten minute commute to work each way. I didn’t have much time to write and be creative before or after work. The first time I actually got time to sit and start writing my new show, I became overwhelmed with the desire to create this blog. Resistance is a bitch that won’t quit! 

The most ridiculous thing about creating this blog is that I had no idea how to create this blog. I had never done anything like this before. I became obsessed with learning how to create it. I had to start by learning what to do and where to do it. Square Space? Tumbler?, Eblogger or WordPress? I knew nothing about any of it. My resistance told me that I must find out. Instead of sitting down to write my show, I started the long process of researching which platform I should use to create this blog.  I fell into a deep hole and it took weeks to climb out. My resistance was like a powerful mud slide that picked me up and swept me away.

“The more important a call or action is to our soul’s evolution, the more resistance we will feel toward pursuing it.”-Steven Pressfield, The War of Art

Once I figured out which platform to use, I had to build it. I couldn’t figure it out so I went to Odesk and hired a guy from India to help me set it all up. That took three weeks to accomplish. Once it was set up and ready to go I just HAD to write my first three blog posts before I could start writing my show. Resistance never sleeps and it deprived me of sleep too.

This blog was not the only part of my resistance to writing my new show. Resistance also convinced me that I needed to take an 8 week online business course and revamp my personal website I was doing all of this from the hours 1:00 AM -4:00AM each night after I returned home from work. The crazy thing is that I had to be back at work at 9:30 AM, so I was getting about 4 hours of sleep each night. Resistance slapped the shit out of me and then shoved my head up my ass!

“Resistance aimes to kill.” -Steven Pressfield, The War Of Art

I listen to the audio version of  “The War Of Art” by Steven Pressfield while commuting for a hour to work everyday in Tokyo. It’s actually a quick listen. It was this book that inspired me to finally start a revolution that would eventually over throw  my own resistance to writing my new show.  In May of 2014, with two months left to write and rehearse my new creation, I kicked resistance to the curb and in a desperate panic, I managed to mount  a new solo show that was presented by The New York Clown Theatre Festival.

 In his book, The War of Art, Steven Pressfield brilliantly defines resistance so that we can recognize it and he provides the tools that we can use to fight it. Basically he teaches artists how to turn pro. Only professionals can beat resistance. I highly recommend reading it if you are an artist of any type. Click here to get your copy now.


“Resistance is fueled by fear.” -Steven Pressfield, The War Of Art

Click here to see a clip of my new solo workBig Shoes Short Tales.









Written by Michelle Matlock - Visit WebsiteDigiprove sealCopyright secured by Digiprove © 2014 Michelle Nicole Matlock

3 thoughts on “How Resistance Almost Destroyed Me

  1. I call it creative procrastination: avoiding one creative pursuit by spending a lot of time on some other fabulously fascinating, and perhaps equally creative project. Yes the resistance is brutal, harsh, terrifying, and can make one ill. But what I see in your story, Michelle, is that now you have BOTH a creative blog (very nice looking too), and the beginnings of a new show. Congrats on both.

  2. I LOVE the War On Art! And I encountered the same thing as I set out to write my new solo show this fall also—I’d been accepted into the SOLOCOM festival (this weekend at the PIT). Now let me stop resisting by reading and commenting on emails and get back to rehearsing 😉

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